When the Facebook communication between 13 male students from the Dalhousie University dentistry school first came to light, it made clear one thing: misogyny is still alive and kicking in our society.
Most people, myself included, like to go about our lives naively believing that the social inequalities between men and women are a thing of the past. Everyone is treated as a person, regardless of gender, save for a few leftover misogynists that have yet to enter retirement. Domestic abuse? Those are just a few select men with mental issues to deal with. Professional gender favoritism? Gender stereotypes? Doesn’t exist. Men and women are treated equally, right?
Guess again. While the Dalhousie Facebook group had 13 members, only one man, Ryan Millet, was brave enough to step forward and say that a poll asking who they’d “hate f—” was wrong. Only one man. Some might chalk it up to pack mentality, but I disagree. While some of the reason for the lack of protest may be attributed to that, it’s more than likely that this situation is a result of underlying issues of gender perception.
It’s no secret that the majority of men still view themselves as tough, logical, aggressive individuals. It’s not that there aren’t softer, gentler men, it’s just that those men are considered weak “pansies.” A confident, slightly aggressive man is a successful man. On the flip side, a woman is viewed as emotional, fickle, unreliable, delicate, and often shallow or ditzy. It’s not that women can’t be deep; it’s just that if she’s pretty, chances are people will think she’s dumb and more concerned about her looks than anything else. For men and women both, there has to be a delicate balance between confidence and aggression. Luckily for men, stereotypes dictate that they’re allowed to have more of the latter.
Of course, these aren’t absolute typecasts, nor are they very obvious. They’re usually just immediate preconceived notions at the back of our minds when we first meet someone. Often times, they change right after the first meeting. However, for a lot of people, these existing stereotypes can influence the way we treat the opposite gender overall and this is where things start to get messy.
When the Dalhousie group first started on Facebook, they didn’t immediately jump onto woman-hating communication like what they got busted for. It was a gradual process that became increasingly more obnoxious. So in other words, it started with just one slightly misogynistic comment and then snowballed from there. It could have started with a dumb blonde joke, then a discussion about which women are the most attractive. Next comes a debate about whether it’s better to be gentle or rough when dealing with a woman. Talks like that continue until suddenly you find yourself voting about rape. Not so surprising anymore, right?
The connection I’m drawing here is a simple one: misogyny is still very much present in our culture and the only way to combat it is to attack it from the start. Nobody is saying dumb blonde jokes aren’t witty or funny, but what happens if a man starts believing every blonde girl he meets is stupid? The danger in small allowances like that is that they snowball into bigger issues.
If you believe gender stereotypes like the aforementioned, then it’s already influencing the way you think and speak. Small stereotypes become larger gender qualities and you become a perpetrator rather than someone advocating gender equality.
What’s even more critical to realize is that men are the ones who need to spearhead this change. Women have already been trying and if they reach beyond their pre-assigned cast of docility, then they are mocked and knocked down as “feminazis.” Men are the ones perpetuating the gender gap and so they are the ones that need to start recognizing misogyny when they hear it and calling it out.
It’s not hard. Men just have to do what Ryan Millet did: call it out.
